latest obsessions

obsessions are such a funny thing. why we love what we love. this weekend i reconnected with some passions, some pre-being-a-mama passions. chad and i went on a mt. bike ride together on sat nite. the sun was setting, there was a warm breeze in the air, and we were riding, rolling hills, beautiful single track. i giggled. i felt alive. i remember i used to take rides weekly where i'd feel that feeling. i don't know if it was an obsession, but regardless, i loved it. i wanted to do it again and again. it energized me. it still does, i just dont do it as often. the other thing this weekend that made me feel that way was folks fest. i love live music, and even more so the atmosphere of live music. it's so nice to share that with will now, and to share it as a family. as chad, will and i swayed to gillian welch and david rawlings belt out wayside , under a starry night, with dirt inbetween our toes from a days worth of playing and relaxing, i present. there was no where else i wanted to be. i could have swayed there forever (or at least until my back gave out from holding will in the ergo). so this brings me to will's obsessions. right now he has three. although i'd wish for them to be mountain biking (or maybe watching it in admiration), dancing to folk music (though he does enjoy this, and even clogs a step or two), and running around naked (what's better than a naked toddler). he does enjoy these things, but what he is really obsessed about....(drum roll please)... 3. Motorcycles. He is obsessed. He points them out wherever we go. He can hear them from a mile away and once they pass by all he can do is sign "more" and point in their direction. He sat on a friends motorcycle toy for about 30 minutes the other day. he was naked, as the plan was initially running through the sprinkler, but he abandoned this for the motorcycle. naked on the motorcycle---just sitting there, making some reeving sounds and pushing buttons. occupied for a half hour, until i insisted we wave bye-bye to the motorcycle. (ps...motorcycles are NOT my favorite things-- i think his dad had a motorcycle obsession as a kid, and may still have a little one---argh.) 2. Basketball. He is also obsessed. He can find a hoop from a block away, and knows where all of the hoops are in our neighboorhood. One of his first 'signs' was basketball. He pretends to play by throwing a ball up (way up) in the air towards our invisable hoop. i can't pretend to lower it for him as he's never seen a low hoop. he now knows how to turn on sports center, and will come and find me in the kitchen if basketball is on. i just hope he's a carolina fan. i think we may have watched too much march maddness during a very impressionable age (is there such a thing as too much basketball?!) #1. Tape Dispenser. He cannot get enough of our tape dispenser. yes, you're reading this right...our scotch tape dispenser. He's made up a game where he will load the dispenser and then shoot the circular tape piece into the air...giggle...and then run after it. he'll come to find chad or i as he knows we can shoot it the furtherest. is it normal for a tape dispenser to occupy a toddler for up to 60 minutes at a stretch?! we have to hide it at times to get a break from the tape dispenser game. i almost brought our tape dispenser to folks festival over the weekend, but i didn't know if the other kids would appreciate the game. not to mention what if we lost one of the pieces??!

horray says the speech therapist

so having an 18 mo old who only said 3 words was a bit disappointing...particularly for being the speech thearpist that i am.
well i'm proud to report that since surgery (ear surgery to get the fluid out and allow him to actually hear things better) i'd like to count his words...(not yet perfected, but i think they count):

dada !!! (he hasn't said that since he was 11 mos old)
up (one of his favorites that means- "mom hold me....I'm not whining, i'm using my words")
high
eyes
mama
bubbles
jet (erin's son)
bye bye
hi
't' sounds (he almost said 'cat')
'g' sounds (though no words yet---sorry grammy and grandpa)
and lots of other babbling attempts.

i guess maybe we should be careful for what we wish for...

thanks grammy and gramps

we had such a nice visit with family. grandparents are pretty great.

the surgery

as a health care provider, hospitals don't freak me out at all...as a mama, the thought of surgery kind-of-sort-of-really does. after hearing horror stories from a mama who recently went through surgery with her 18 mo old, and reading some of the books my m-i-l gave me on surgical trauma, i was preparing for the worst. now that it's all over, i can say...will did fine (and is now hearing and seeing so much better with all the de-gooping that went on), and i didn't even shed a tear (though i did get choked up once). i was prepping to be emotional and (perhaps inappropriately) assertive (to make sure i could be with him at every possible moment!!), but alas, it all went smoothly--the staff were great, will was great (he even cracked a smile with the 'laughing gas' when he was going under), and was blissfully covered in orange popsicle once he woke up in the recovery room.

my husband on the other hand, was a bit more worried. there he was pacing back and forth, checking for surgery updates, feeling like the 20 seconds we were with will in the OR as he went under, 'felt like eternity.' not even able to read his scientific papers (aka leisure reading) he brought with him to the hospital (in other words, he was REALLY preoccupied :)). although he spends lots and lots of time in a science lab, he's rarely in a hospital, and to be honest i think he has some hospital phobia. he probably used the hand sanitizer about 15 times, in the matter of 30 minutes, and kept steering will away from touching anything. when will's slipper sock kept coming off in the hospital play room, it was chad who'd jump up to get it back on to insure his foot didn't touch the hospital floor or anything for that matter. he was very serious about the gowns we were given to suit up with, before entering the operating room. the gowns were white porus paper gowns. i do have to say that i have seen and used these gowns (OVER my clothes) for my own patients who have immune compromise or what not, but i must also say that at a quick glace, it's not that subtle to notice that these are very see-through gowns. chad was so preoccupied with worry and with being 'steril' and clean in the hospital room, that when he got his gown, he closed the curtains, and began to strip down...to put his gown on....his SEE-THROUGH gown. maybe it was my giggling that eased my worry about will's surgery...imagnining my cute husband....nude...in his see-through hospital gown walking down the hallway and into the OR...pumping the hand-sanitizer along the way, and making sure that will's slipper socks stayed right where they needed to.

outsmarting the toddler

of course as a parent of an 18 mo old, i think he's amazingly smart (i think i can say that most parents think their kid is really smart, and can't believe how much they know---even though this is normal development, and in fact is likely just average). i am now spelling buzz words in conversation with chad that i don't want will to overhear. he's like our little sponge. now comes the hard part...he's already outsmarting me.
he figured out that if he does his sign for 'hungry' when we're putting him to bed, we'll take him down to the fridge get a snack, and thus buying him another 15+ min of hanging out time. he also knows, if he puts his binkie in his crib he gets to get up and walk around and play, because "binkies are only for bedtime." sure as he learned these two tricks, he's milking us for all we're worth. the bedtime routine has now lengthened in time and he's successfully pushed back his bedtime to 8.30 or later. well...let me tell you, i'm on to him (finally after a week or more of his shenanigans). it's all about 'love and logic' choice making. brilliant folks they are (though if you listen to their cd's they are a little patronizing, so you have to get over that). perhaps they are just average too, but in my world, trying to outsmart my toddler, their techniques are brilliant.
now when will is trying to ask for food, or ditch his binkie to get back up and play, i give him his choices---
"do you want to get in your crib, or lay here and snuggle with mommy?!" (what kind of choice is that for a 18 mo old mama's boy who loves to snuggle, albeit snuggling leads to falling asleep--you get the drift, and so does he, drifting off to sleep that is.)

babysitter

will is an observer. it's part of who he is. he may get it from his mama. he may have also gotten the 'transition trouble' gene from me too. i do hate change, at least big change (like moving, starting a new job, starting at a new school).

chad wonders how i became such a social person that hates routine. not sure how i turned out the way i did, but at my roots i'm a shy observer that has the 'transition trouble' gene.

anyway...will has some of those genes too. he's currently working on going to a baby sitter a few times a month. (verses only with chad's parents and us) she's a SAHM with two kids. she's great. so patient, uses "love and logic" parenting, and hosts lots of fun play groups with the neighborhood. the kiddos are always dirty (in a good way), and exploring and jumping, and playing in water. everything fun about being a kid. will is a deer in headlights. he gets excited when we pull up. he points to her house, and is fine going in, but he looses it when we leave.
not atypical for a 17mo old. however, he's taking it to extremes.
today i kept getting text messages from erin. (she is very sweet to give me the blow-by-blow)

message 1 9am: he won't let me put him down so i've been wearing him in the ergo all morning.
message 2 10am: we went to the park, but will just wanted to be in the ergo and watch the kids
message 3 2pm: will's still sleeping (a 4 hour nap !!!)
message 4 2.30pm: will wont eat, he just wants to sit in my lap (still won't let me put him down)
message 5 3pm: still won't eat or drink
Phone call: i told erin to have him wave bye bye to his binkie and blankie, and then try a popsicle. ...it worked. (though that was all that he ate/drank all day)
message 6 4pm: still holding him...off to the airport to watch the planes take off and land
message 7 4.30: he smiled (first one of the day)
message 8 4.45pm: he'll let me set him down as long as i hold his hand

...jeeze...it will get easier huh?! poor will...poor erin...poor mom.

cookies...i do love cookies...

those of you who knew me circa 2001 know that i didn't have such a great reputation in the kitchen. i couldn't really cook from taste, i'd make some pretty outrageous substitutions (pickled ginger is in fact VERY different from ground ginger), i'd regularly burn things, and just down right couldn't cook, and really couldn't bake.

those of you who know me in my more recent years may think i get around okay...or maybe even more than that. i actually enjoy to cook and even enjoy to bake (cookies that is). it's taken some time, practice, a handy watch timer (there were many things burned) and of course help from my friends. one of my biggest problems is that i have poor reading comprehension (yes, that's a pretty honest admission for being a speech therapist and all). i can't read, and stick to, a recipe to save my life. it does lend to some creativity...and luckily things seem to turn out better, more often than not.

so the last 5 years of so, i had somewhat perfected the chocolate chip cookie (thanks to my dear friend carlee). and i love the chocolate chip cookie. oh how i love the chocolate chip cookie. so the dilemma here presents ...the reliance on flour/ gluten for the chocolate chip cookie. damn!

i've tried a few times (ok, well just once) to make a gluten free chocolate chip cookie with my standby recipe and some 'gluten free flour'. well, no offense 'bob's red mill flour' but they were not good. they had this funky after-taste, and were flat, and all-in-all disappointing. i shared them with a friend who is GF"

tara: "the cookies were good"
me: "well, i'm trying, but they are not great"
tara: "it's amazing how much your standards lower with gluten free food"
me: ...but i have really high standards for chocolate chip cookies.... :(


so last week, i was picking will up at the babysitters. it was the same day as the 'pizza episode' and when i was picking him up there was a mom there with a plate of cookies. she asked "does will want a gluten free cookie?". will had never had a cookie up until that point in his life, but i automatically said "yeah sure" b/c he actually COULD have the cookie. the cookie looked like a real cookie. fluffy, textured, soft. i tried a bite, and i thought there was some misunderstanding, i couldn't believe it was really gluten free.

sure enough...gluten free. she told me about the website the food philosopher and sure enough the gluten free cookie has redeemed itself. i needed to tweak the recipe a little (what's new, i can't follow a recipe to save my life), but chad walked in on me giddy in the kitchen with my chocolate chip cookies, and now about to go to bed with a little bit of a tummy ache. horray food philosopher horray!