Saturday, November 10, 2007


i just received this from a friend of a friend...if it had happened to me, i may have ended up having security called on me, and maybe even topless at DIA ...

The following just occurred as I went through security, after a long line, at Denver International Airport:

TSA official: Ma'm, what is in this bag?
Me: A breast pump
TSA: Is there breast milk in here?
Me: Not yet – I just left home. There are ice packs.
TSA: I need to get a supervisor.

5 minutes later…

TSA supervisor ("Elvia"): If there is no breast milk, you can't take the ice packs.
Me: So you're telling me that if I had a half an ounce of milk in the bag the ice packs would be fine?
TSA: Yes ma'm.
Me: Well hand over the pump and I'll get you your half ounce.
TSA: I can't do that ma'm. That would be indecent exposure.
Me: Oh, I assure you I can be very discreet.
TSA: No ma'm. If you want to pump, you need to go back out of security with all your bags and then come back through the line.
Me: (increasingly annoyed, of course) I will miss my flight if I do that. Just hand me the pump and I will be 3 minutes.
TSA: No.
Me: (unbuttoning my shirt) Fine. I don't need a pump, I will just squirt a little into a bottle.
TSA: I am going to call security if you continue.
Me: Boy, you guys are really keeping the homeland safe, aren't you? You should be very proud.
TSA: If you say that again, I am going to call security.
Me: So if I say that again, you'll call security and if I try to pump, you'll call security. All because of two ice packs. Brilliant.

Needless to say, I gave up the ice packs. And to think that these guys are trying to unionize? God help us all.

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